the natural form

is the most beautiful thing. In its' fatness, thinness, toned muscular to weak bones, from tanned, olive skin to pale, fragile, soft skin. From long, elegant legs to short, tubby torsos, we love bodies. Alive, beautiful, thriving, and willing, hopeful, to witness another human form in it's natural beauty. We live to touch, stroke, grab, smell, kiss, gourge ourselves in and on another human being, and why? Is is simply our natural habit to need to engage in intimate human contact? or do we have a deeper meaning with our sexual needs? do our strange yet thrilling fetishes and curiosity really strike us as unnatural? or do we need to just let go and admit that the human body has a strange need to explore another in ways that we have titled, 'weird'. Why does our stereotypical view of beauty change with age and history? Fat, thin, tanned, pale, we group together to form this idea of beauty, natural or manmade, so we can conform to our own unnatural moral laws that we have created for ourselves, yet loathe. Why do we feel the need to act 'normally' when it comes to sex? why have we graded porn as disgusting and unnecessary? In the ancient times of greece and rome the body was seen as a temple, sex was a necessay thing that humans could not, and would not, live without. The body was a gift from the gods, one not to be wasted, and the naked form, the natural, beautiful form, was natural to be seen in it's purest form carved into walls, performing sex acts with eachother, exploring new ways of pleasuring eachother. So why has this changed from being a beautiful, amazing thing, to being dirty, unnatural, and hated? We are now pressured not to have sex because it is dangerous, or risky, or potentially fatal. We have created this whole idea about sex being disgusting, at least until you are at a certain age, then the generation below you think you are dirty. This is an idea created in the last few years, as before this our people thought fat people were sexy, sex was crazy and improper yet fascinating and thrilling, and now we feel that the less meat you have on your bones, the more attractive you are. The less emotions you feel, the cooler you are, and the less people you have sex with, the better person you are.
I say have sex with who you want, enjoy the natural form of somebody else, because that is the only, or most thrilling thing you will experience in life, so make the most of it.

By the way, Merry Christmas <3

Persil

yeah this post has nothing to do with Persil (': it was just on an advert. I'm in a good mood today, though i'm knackered from 10 hours of art. ouch :)

ahhha i love 'Don't tell....i think he likes you' .. 'ew.'
I'm loving everything today. I'm loving my friends, memories, I'm even loving boys.
Okay that's a lie.
This time last year everything fucked up at christmas was a pile of shit. But this year things will be different. They will. I love how that person is still there to help me and be nice to me, no matter what I've done, or said, or how I've felt.
Btw, this will be a short post. I'm bloody knackered and Magic FM is making me tired. My sister is sleeping in my room tonight. Fun times of her poking me all night and pissing me off ¬_¬

anyway
I love you all, you know who you are.
P.s crushhh




CIAO.

emotions

I've been through them all these past two weeks.
Anger: the feeling when you hate everyone, everything, and everything has to go away or you'll never be happy
Frustration: when you feel like you've failed everything, you wish you could go back in time and change yourself
Love: when you feel like you're going to explode with emotions for someone
Sadness: when you know you'll never get that person and you're stupid for trying
Lonliness: when you need that person beside you to kiss you when you're sad, hug you when you're lonley, hold your hand when you're scared, and tell you I Love You every day that they do.

All these emotions are now inside me, as I've been through them all these past couple of weeks. How do i get rid of them? who knows. I've got to try and work my way through each of them and work out how to change them.
Anger: start to see the other side of the story, talk about my emotions a little more, even if it hurts someone. Because I get hurt but I can't tell them how much of a bitch they are.
Frustration: Tell myself that i tried my best and I can't change that now.
Love: Fall in love with someone who actually wants you, emily.
Lonliness: Find someone to love.

okay, end of blog.
x

Rant.

So this is just going to be one of those long rants about things in my life that you don't really care about.

boys- oh man. don't me started. there are a lot of people in my mind at the moment, and tbh all of them are (N). I don't know what to do, I keep getting myself in these messes and i can't get myself out. I'm in a mess at the moment emotionally, cause there's this guy.
okay?
there's this guy. who i like, and only recently started liking. But there's all this worry about age and timing and work and school and parents and everything. ouch.
Plus they're kinda going away for two weeks so it's obvious they won't like me when they get back, lol.
one night stands. why do guys obsess over this? why? no girl wants to have sex with you one time then never talk to you again, cause when a girl has sex, science has proven that the girl instantly finds feeling for this boy.
So yeah. I've got myself into this predicament where i don't know where I stand between relationship and one night stand, because he 'likes' me.

school- i'm so fucked at school. I've already got a C in both my maths mocks, and i doubt i'm doing any better in any of my other subjects, fml. My teachers are beginning to do that irritating i'm-so-dissapointed-in-you-you-coulda-done-so-much-better look, and it kinda makes you wanna cry. Every day i feel like i'm letting my family, teachers, friends, and the rest of my life down when i stand, tuck my chair in and leave that main hall. And do you know what? I don't see how people say 'i dont care about my exams; they're just mocks'
Exams are like hell for me.

there's not a lot else to say really, people. well, person reading this.
And i know what's coming;
whore, slag, slut,

you know the drill.

x

saturday night

and of course, i'm at home.
i've watched bad telly all day, and i've been to Bromley for a few hours.
That's actually all i've done all day.

exasexamsexams
good lord.

I have nothing else to say really. My love life is non-existent, an i wish it wasn't. Haha, i hate how desperate girls get when they want a boyfriend, and the guys they go for (N). It's like the longer you go without a boy, the uglier they get.
mm.

x